Best Days of Life

1. On being Late:

"Kab shuru hui class?"

"Attendance ho gayi kya??"

"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"

"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu......... bolna ....... kal kya
padaya tha isne"

"Ek page de na.......... abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse likhunga......."

" koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"

"wo bhi iss class ke liye "

2. During the lecture:

"Yesss!!!! Sirrr.......The answer is

........huuuummmmm........aaaaaaaa............."

"No sir.....I know the answer .......sir...."

"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"

"Abe lecture ko maar goli..... Kareena kya lag rahi hai aaj........"

"Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh"

"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya.......gadha......."

"Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain .."

"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!"

3. Lab:

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"last time tu aaya the kya?""

"Karna kya hai??"

"Yeh bhai.....merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata........"

"Areee tu to bura maan gaya .......chal dikha na.....bhau kyo kata
hai...."

 

4. Sessionals Test:

"sessionals test???? ......Aree yaar...... "

"Kya........ abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya
hoga...."

"Oye Sushil kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi
aaya to mein pakka fail...."

After test......

"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen
chalega..." SAHI !!

 

5. For attendance

"I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya "

"Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega........"

"Bola tha proxy regularly maar........ Saale tera class karne ka kya
faida hua....."

6. Late submission of assignments:

" Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein
submit kar dena"

"Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya........"

"They should allow XEROX.........sala system hi kharab hai "

7 . After exam:

"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt..."

"kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya"

"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2.......
Gaya ..........fail pakka......."

"Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena........wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh
kar......"

8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"

"Aeee.......Akash.....terese kya kya poocha....mood kaisa hai.."

"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."

"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak
preparation nahi hui hai" 

9 . Submission:

"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"

"kaat kaat ke likh le...kaon padhta hai"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."

"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

 

10 .Copying Assignments:

"Ye tune kya likha hai????"

(The best one)

"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha
hai uska drawing nikal"

"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"

" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar."

"Koi hint........"

"Are baba ghaseet de........na tu samjega na wo........"

11. Exam:

"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai
woh NAHI aata hai" ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar....to ab kya poochenge"

"ye last time hi poochha thaa......is baar nahi aana chahiye"

"tere paas is ke notes hai??"

"Neend aa rahi mujhe to...thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka"

"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks
the story)"

"nahi samjha to rat le" - PERFECT ONE

"Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai........"

"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya.........."
I AGREE !! !!

This one is dedicated to all my friends:

"bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai. kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain. abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko man karta hai. Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai, college ke paas Jaggi ka dhabe ki yaad aati hai tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai. Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai. Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai. Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai. bas ek bar aur wapas lautne ka man karta hai."

- Loveable Poet

LOVE LETTER TO MY LOVE

Secretly am smiling at you very session Surprisingly am short of words for no reason Want to speak a lot and express my thought But all words got struck in my neck throat My heart being like a shape of leaf weighs like a huge mountain inner deep.

My heart was before like a clear ice snow Your fingers came and written a couplet prose When you are touching me, I melt like an ice
The same can't be visualized through human eyes.

I remember one day, Love approached me seeking permission Now with your presence, it demand me to sign the agreement People know through land, sky and water electricity is made But I know, the LOVE I have for you will capture global heed.

Even my horoscope, did not mention a single line about this feel I too never expect and thought I will get capture in this LOVE zeal After your charisma, my heart is beating like a thunder storm Please accept my proposal to love me and make myself calm.

My soul is filled with pleasure whenever I think about yourself For this is the finnest moment i want to treasure with myself My heart is in love with you and hence my eyes are staring at you Before ending the stare, how come your image got inserted in my heart.

Your name is written in the index page of my heart, but I know in this birth i will not succeed to pass I pray GOD to give me one more birth and a chance To express my love to you and make you mine forever.

 

- Loveable Poet

What women want in a Man

Always Don’t Think Dirty ( + 16 )

What I Want in a Man, Original List:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 36)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Wants to talk to me.
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Has at least one shirt with the arms cut out
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Loves to go for drives
10. Seeks romance at least 3 times a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7 . Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

- Loveable Poet